I had never even considered joining a Writers Circle (and didn't even know there was one in Southport) but I picked up a leaflet and thought I would give it a go. Although I was very nervous at first, I was made to feel very welcome and enjoyed listening to other people read out their work and then comment on it. Over the next few weeks I decided to read out some of my poetry and listen to the feedback from the other members jotting down their comments and thoughts. Below is an example of 2 poems I read out together with the comments from the members:
to be performed from under a table
When comfort runs dragged across bare arms in line of red and scratchy scratch,
and darkness is the colour of coffee that swirls around sticking to white teeth,
an attempt to sew shut the voices using thrash stitching and death needles,
keep you locked in coffin of slinky coldness dripping with a brilliant hatred of me,
your arms tired from pushing the ones to the edge of ceramic forgiveness,
all the while protecting and comforting the he inside of the me,
this fighting an odyssey of celluloid reverse promises grinning with lies,
guiding your carcass over trenches of worn out scars and fresh skin,
and what's left but a frightened shell shivering under a table of wood,
a splintered performance with a bow to the crowd and a pitiful applause.
The feedback I received was (from my scribbly notes): good metaphors, good technique, wobbles a bit a third of the way through, flows well, re-absorb the piece, loses its way in the middle.
Fragile
Tears fall into the infinite - slow, fragile.
Your eyes search for hope, I cannot give.
We knew time was not on our side, why?
Isn't the point of love exactly that - the point!
I brush your white skin for the last time
and hold you to my heart. You listen
wishing to capture every beat left in me.
An impossible wish in an impossible dream.
Yet you try...and you pray...and you almost succeed.
Almost.
But I slip.
And I fall into the infinite - slow, fragile.
The feedback I received was (again from scribbled notes): consistent, poignant, feeling of loss, choose a different title, get rid of the 'why' on the third line, sad.
The reason I have written about this in this months blog piece is because if you are a writer and are serious about writing, then join a Writers Circle because not only do you get some interesting feedback about your own work but you also get to hear other peoples work and comment on it. It is also a way of meeting like minded people and possibly even increasing the chances of your work reaching a wider audience...give it a go!!!
