What a funny February...

...that was. Just like January, February threw up some life changes and major decisions. First off, a massive decision regarding my future. Basically, I am taking 3 months out to write my 3rd book. It was a tough decision because it is very risky indeed but I have this opportunity right here, right now and I would be completely foolish if I didn't take it. The frame of mind I am in and the fact that I have never felt (mentally or physically) as good as I do at this moment was also a mayor factor in my decision. I am writing with passion, commitment and imagination - something I haven't been doing for some time. Ideas are well and truly flowing. And you know what, if it doesn't work out and I have to get a job then so be it...at least I can say I tried.

The other major decision was to self-publish my second book 'this heat, it's hell closing in on me' using some of my redundancy money. This time I am releasing it as an eBook as well as a physical book. Again, it is a deeply open and brutally honest book which deals with a very recent time of my life told through fact, poetry and short story format and again, I designed and created the front and back covers and as a whole, I am very proud of it. It should be out in a few weeks so as a little tease, I have included some poems from it:

Now

A bruised thunderous sky,

as clouds erupt with tears,

and the sweet smell of emotion,

cleanses a devastated world,

what once was a forest of colour,

is now a graveyard of stump,

what once was a monsoon of life,

is now an infinity of death.

Moonlight casts over skeletons shadows,

an eerie torment forever etched,

as even now they huddle together,

always running from this inescapable fate.

The Earth grumbles and licks its wounds,

scared forever diseased by ignorance,

a scorched land bleeds and scabs over,

it's daily cycle limps on, this trapped ghost.

Hellish lightning slices through thick air,

barren sands eat away forgotten achievements,

and the ruins of a lost way of life weep,

as an uncontrollable sadness laps broken borders.

A piercing sun breaks through black skies,

forcing even death to scramble for the shade,

as oceans begin to boil and grounds begin to crack,

the blinding rays splitting open all it touches.

This distant planet once proud and blue,

now a charcoal shell of deconstruction and loss,

begins its long creep into blind nothingness,

howling as it goes, a pinprick through dead space.

When beauty dies

A sultry sway,

a sexy tilt.

Daring whispers

slay the night,

bring dark eyes

lord of light.

A slender neck,

curves of sex.

That innocent way.

But a broken heart.

But an abused body.

But a shattered mind.

But a battered soul.

When beauty dies,

death’s cold touch

now a warm shoulder,

helps on as such.

Is the gentleman,

is the lost love.

Death the sonnet,

death the brave,

death the guide,

death the save.

1^st March

On edge

On edge,

on the lookout,

always jumpy,

waiting,

anticipating…something.

No way to live,

a paranoid prisoner,

lack of basic respect,

lurking,

dealing…something.

Late at night,

in the darkness,

forever losers,

preying,

destroying…something.