And unto Silence we came...

...is the title of the chapter of my latest book I have just completed.

Yes, my new actual novel is coming along nicely, slowly, but nicely. My characters are developing and taking on lives of their own branching out into something I never intended at the start. For example, my Detective has a guilt which manifests itself into a presence that he communicates with as if talking to another human being.  My "hero" is also developing into someone who uses technology (it is set around the year 2030) to escape the horrors and revenge he is inflicting. I based his escape world on the farmlands and surroundings of where we now live...good excuse to write outside and use what I see as words on the laptop screen. I am only on Chapter five but I am getting there. I am still writing reviews for Roobla - latest one was the new Iron Maiden album 'The Book Of Souls' which is an epic slab of music from the heavy metal legends. Currently in the process of writing some new naughty erotica as well so lots on the go.

I have also managed to reach my weight goal of the last few months of 13.7 stone after lots of hard work at the gym and watching what I eat. Believe it or not, I started this year at 16.7 stone so losing 3 stone in 10 months is a hell of an achievement and I do feel (and look) better for it. It does get harder and harder though and my actual ultimate goal of around 12 stone will be tough. The Walking Dead restarted last week and continues to be the absolute best thing on television although 4 episodes into the new season of Doctor Who has seen it grow in confidence and quality. An already brilliant year for music with top releases from Faith No More, Fear Factory, Cradle Of Filth and Muse has been made better by the new double album epicness that is the new Iron Maiden album...up the irons indeed!! Start Wars and indeed Christmas loom ever closer...exciting times.

Work is work...I go in, do what I have to do and then come home. I have no passion or commitment outside of the hours I am contracted to do. But, it pays the bills and I have to feel lucky that nearly 16 years of service means I know what I am doing and am left to do it. Tomorrow, I do have an interview at Martin Mere for some volunteer work so lets hope that goes well. Looking forward to a night of horror films on Halloween and having the neighbour and her kids round on Bonfire night and then it will be some serious Christmas shopping. Anyway, that's that for this month...I will leave you with some snippets from the new novel though...enjoy:

And unto silence we came…

The birds are singing, the sky is clear blue and the grass is deep green.  A gentle, almost shy breeze wisps through the air bending the tall sunflowers with a slight push; their bright yellow faces sway from side to side as if dancing in the night.  Insects dart about avoiding the spider’s webs that span in between the haggled and rotten fence posts, their buzzing adding chorus to the surroundings. The sun casts shadows across the freshly cut lawn highlighting the various dips and colours, so alive yet so dead.  A lone football sits in the garden.  White with black hexagon shapes dotted about its face, it demands to be kicked, wants to be saved, and craves to be played with.  But no one is there.  No one is anywhere.

                This garden and its converted barn house are away; away from other houses, away from other gardens and away from other people. In the distance there is nothing but trees and fields.  Potatoes grow to the right and carrots grow to the left, the leaves rising from the ground signify their readiness for picking, cooking and eating; if only this could be done?  If only that ball could be kicked?  If only that sunflower could be smelt?  If only that grass could be felt?  Silence sits perfectly still observing these surroundings, his eyes straining through tears and pain.  This perfect world he has created is the only thing that keeps him sane, the only thing that keeps him going.  It is his distraction from the real world, the one which demands so much of him, the one which eats away at his soul and burns his mind; destructive yet necessary. 

                Other people create families and friends.  Mainly building on those they have lost or those they remember before the change.  Some will re-create their old house and try and live out their old life.  Some have even been known to draw from their childhood memories and have mummy and daddy pamper them again.  Not Silence.  His childhood memories are full of shit and abuse.  Mummy was ill and Daddy was alcoholic for most of his childhood.  The rest were just a bunch of horrible lies and deceptions; something which came to the fore after Daddy ran off with another woman.  Silence did once re-create this life, even managing to have the glazed eyes of his Father glare at him.  The detail was incredible, right down to the hole in the door punched in an alcoholic rage by good old Daddy.  Silence then destroyed it.  With all his might, pain and anger, he completely raged through the programme and broke down the code with terror, fear and blind loss.  It didn’t help of course, he couldn’t actually feel his destruction or taste his victory; it was basically hitting the backspace or delete on a keyboard.  In fact, if anything it made him worse so he decided on creating his perfect place.

               

Exciting times...

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Why games are so important...

...to me.  After my last post about music and a certain album by Fear Factory and the importance of it, I thought I would write a post about games...in truth, I am writing this whilst listening to a game soundtrack.  

I have been a gamer for as long as I remember.  My first games computer was the mighty Toshiba MSX.  A legend of a computer which used tapes for games.  I still remember getting it on Christmas morning...my parents duped me into believing all the presents had been opened when they brought a bin bag into the living room feigning it to be rubbish but in fact it had the MSX inside.  It was an awesome computer with some incredible games: Feud, Ocean Conquerour, Breakout, Flash Gordon, BMX Simulator...the list goes on.  From then I had the Commodore 64, Sega Megadrive, SNES, PS1, PS2, PS3, X-Box 360 and PS4.  I also own a PSP and 3DS and there is a Wii in the house as well.  So yeah, a bit of a gamer...I start a game, finish it then go onto another one!

To me, they are just as important and influential as music or film.  In fact, I would say more so because of the interaction involved in playing AND experiencing a video game.  The level of gaming today is utterly incredible with graphics, music and story at such a high level it has been known to make grown men, and women, cry like babies.  When you think that something, which is essentially just bits of code, can draw you in to such an extent that actual human emotions and actions come into play, where physical and mental feelings become exposed and felt, where your own life and day to day business revolves around a game or the interactions with online gamers, where you become the hero or the villain and what you do affects an outcome...nothing else on Earth does that!!  

Shadow Of The Collosus, Final Fantasy VII, Heavy Rain, Silent Hill 2, Ico, The Walking Dead, Bioshock...all these games, and many more, have moments which will shock and hurt you, force you to make hard and fatal decisions, bring you to your knees mentally and physically, ask you to question your own life and actions and so on and so on...basically these games, just like a good film or book, will live with you forever.  The games industry is now bigger than the film industry (looking at you GTA 5) with money spent worldwide reaching unbelievable heights...and with good reason, the money spent really shows through with the quality of games released in this day and age (looking at you Alien Isolation).  

But is there a downside...is there a negative dirty branch to all this?  Can games make us do something in real life that is wrong, illegal or fatal?  In my opinion...no.  If you struggle in defining real life with fantasy, either by the games you play or the music you listen to or the films you watch, then there is already something wrong with you; the seed had already been planted and the desires were already there.  Of course, this is a discussion which could fill a lecture hall or a phone book sized exercise, my opinion is mine and mine alone.

Which brings me to this final paragraph.  Like I said at the beginning, I am writing this whilst listening to a game soundtrack...The Last Of Us.  If you want to play a game that confirms everything I have said then play The Last Of Us.  I played it on the PS3 and am now currently replaying the remastered version on the PS4.  It is the absolute pinnacle of gaming up to this point and demands to be experienced!!!  I defy anyone to play it and not cry, laugh or gasp at some point...for me, it is more than a game, it is a part of my life - high praise indeed!

There are moments...

...in life that define us.  Moments that remain fixed in our being until the day we die, moments that define what we are, what we like and what we want.  They can range from experiences, people we meet, jobs we have, heartaches and failures, successes and love, pets, films, books...the list goes on.  For me, there are many moments that define me.  Mostly made up of experiences and actions but there are also many to do with music.  My first ever gig was in 1996 and it was Marilyn Manson on the Antichrist Superstar tour and it opened the flood gates to the many other gigs I have seen since.  The greatest gig I have ever seen was Roger Waters playing The Wall at Manchester...a spectacle, musically and visually, which has yet to be beaten.  The first time I heard Queen's final album Made In Heaven, the moment I completely related to Nine Inch Nails masterpiece The Downward Spiral, the time I saw the music video for Killing Joke's Millenium which played over and over as I battled an all nighter trying to finish my Art coursework, the mind blowing experience that was Ozzfest and all that goes with a festival...all moments that I will happily take to the grave.  But there is one moment that completely re-defined what music is to me today...the moment I heard Fear Factory's Demanufacture.

Up until I heard that album, Heavy Metal was something I just wasn't into!  It was around, it was in the background, it was there...but always in the distance.  Then I heard the song Replica!!!  It blew my mind, it was heavy as shit but also melodic.  The music was brutal but also strangely beautiful.  How is this possible I thought...what is the trickery...is that keyboards I can hear????  Yes, Demanufactue is still the perfect example of using keyboards on an album full of heavy crushing guitars, pounding drums, throbbing bass lines and vocals that would rip you to pieces!!  Ah yes, the vocals...Burton C Bell could roar his way to hell and back then serenade you up to heaven...again, something which has rarely been pulled off (Devin Townsend equalling Burton's power).  Then there was the collision of metallic coldness and almost robotic goings on mixed in as well as amazing lyrics and artwork...this was a band at its absolute peak in every aspect!!!  From start to finish, it is an absolute masterpiece and still sounds as fresh and powerful as it reaches the grand old age of 20!  It is the one album that turned me into a fan of Heavy Metal and opened up my world of music for the better...and heavier!!

But why, you ask, am I barking on about this now?  Well, 2 days ago, 2 tickets were ordered and paid for to see the mighty Fear Factory in December (this will be the 7th time seeing them) where they will play the entire album in full...THE ENTIRE FUCKING ALBUM!!!!  So, 20 years ago, my life was changed because an album managed to re-define my entire taste in music...now, 20 years later, I get to experience that album played live in full by one of my all time favourite bands.  That is some special shit!!!