How am I getting on...

...with my poem a day project?  Well, very well actually!  I have pretty much kept up with it and am producing some interesting pieces based on pure raw emotion, what has happened during said day and the influences around me when I sit down and write.  It is also meant that I am writing virtually every day and making a very conscious effort to be original and not repeat what I have already written in both style and substance.


Below are some pieces written over the course of this year...enjoy!

4^th January

Escape

I close my eyes and imagine a freedom,

an escape from the grime and shit,

a release from all the trappings,

an end to smothered normality.

 

This asylum of ignorance and swine,

inmates shuffling along, this walking dead,

with heads down and shoulders slumped,

no respect for each other’s pathetic existence.

 

They rip and shred their fellow kin,

beat and burn any wayward glance,

pillage the very land they live on

and waste away the precious time given.

 

To hell with thy neighbour,

let’s snarl at the homeless man,

why don’t we poison our bodies?

And corrupt our brains.

 

Our maker must truly despair in silence,

sob and wonder where it all went so wrong,

pray for someone to answer their prayers,

get to the punch line of this sick joke.

 

I open my eyes and see a prison,

a planet full of grime and shit,

no release from all the trappings,

no end to this smothered normality.

 

(well - there is one release)

7^th February

Old friends

Old friends, forgotten memories,

a carefree youth of excess and fun,

a life free of restraint and boundaries,

together as all, together as one.

25^th February

In my eyes I’ve always fallen

Struggling, limbs of stone,

a paranoia of sheep,

those who follow and beg,

content with normality,

a screeching echo, distant

yet urgent, waves of sound

fluttering over smog and dust,

everyone has a dark side,

we all wish you were here

fighting like animals,

bound by forgotten blood,

urged on by chains and spit,

dragged down by the man,

oink oink we pigs,

swine wallowing in our own shit,

our reflection pitiful and sad,

and for being part of this charade,

in my eyes I’ve always fallen.

Happy New Year...

...to all my followers and fellow bloggers!!!

So, I ended 2013 on a massive high with a very nice phone call from Chapter One Promotions telling me that my book 'Love Or Suicide and the Life Inbetween' came 3rd in their annual self publishing competition.  After a tough 2013, that phone call and that news was needed and welcomed with a beaming smile and a huge confidence boost.  Maybe it really does prove that if you put your mind to something, you truly can do it and be successful!

Anyway, my big project for 2014 is called 'Year'.  A poem a day with its subject matter a representation of that specific day; hence a load of unpredictability and uncertainty.  This project has been in the back of my mind for a while so to finally start it is exciting.  So, for your reading pleasure, I have included the second poem of my project 'Year' for you to gorge on.

1^st January

Success

 

In the last hours of 2013,

came a phone call number unknown,

and after a voicemail left,

came a very welcome success.

 

Third in a self-publishing comp,

bringing a genuine smile to my face,

something actually went my way,

signalling a fresh start this very day.

 

It is possible to do anything,

as long as you believe,

it is possible to live your dreams,

a worthwhile life it seems.

 

So here I am finally ready,

to take on the world and win,

bring light into my every present darkness,

no longer wandering in blind aimlessness.

 

 

 

Recent writings...

...from my mind to enjoy below:

Curtains Drawn

I shut the car door and lock it through the key fob.  Head down, I walk up towards the house and clamber in.  I lock the deadlock quick.  First I pull the blinds down in the kitchen.  Then I close the curtains in the living room.  Upstairs, I close the curtains in the main bedroom and check the rest of the house for any other light source getting in.  When I am satisfied, I re-heat the meal I have already prepared, sit down and eat…it doesn’t take me long.  I have a shit, prepare my work clothes for tomorrow and grab my headphones.  After one final check of the doors and the locks, I run upstairs and stick a cd into the disc player.  Connecting the headphones and cranking up the volume, I press play and am still.

                I am safe

                I am at peace.

                I am now in my own world…away from the piss and the shit and the scum outside.

 I shut the car door and lock it through the key fob.  Head down, I walk up towards the house and clamber in.  I lock the deadlock quick.  First I pull the blinds down in the kitchen.  Then I close the curtains in the living room.  Upstairs, I close the curtains in the main bedroom and check the rest of the house for any other light source getting in.  When I am satisfied, I re-heat the meal I have already prepared, sit down and eat…it doesn’t take me long.  I have a shit, prepare my work clothes for tomorrow and grab my headphones.  After one final check of the doors and the locks, I run upstairs and stick a cd into the disc player.  Connecting the headphones and cranking up the volume, I press play and am still.

                I am safe.

                                   I am at peace.
                I am now in my own world…away from the piss and the shit and the scum outside.

 I shut the car door and lock it through the key fob.  Head down, I walk up towards the house and clamber in.  I lock the deadlock quick.  First I pull the blinds down in the kitchen.  Then I close the curtains in the living room.  Upstairs, I close the curtains in the main bedroom and check the rest of the house for any other light source getting in.  When I am satisfied, I re-heat the meal I have already prepared, sit down and eat…it doesn’t take me long.  I have a shit, prepare my work clothes for tomorrow and grab my headphones.  After one final check of the doors and the locks, I run upstairs and stick a cd into the disc player.  Connecting the headphones and cranking up the volume, I press play and am still.

                I am safe.

                                                              I am at peace.
                I am now in my own world…away from the piss and the shit and the scum outside.

I shut the car door and lock it through the key fob.  Head down, I walk up towards the house and clamber in.  I lock the deadlock quick.  First I pull the blinds down in the kitchen.  Then I close the curtains in the living room.  Upstairs, I close the curtains in the main bedroom and check the rest of the house for any other light source getting in.  When I am satisfied, I re-heat the meal I have already prepared, sit down and eat…it doesn’t take me long.  I have a shit, prepare my work clothes for tomorrow and grab my headphones.  After one final check of the doors and the locks, I run upstairs and stick a cd into the disc player.  Connecting the headphones and cranking up the volume, I press play and am still.

                I am safe.

                                                                                                                       I am at peace.
                I am now in my own world…away from the piss and the shit and the scum outside.

Tears

 

Bring me sunshine, bring me tears,

bring me a burning light, bring me fears.

So few answer, so many questions,

now a lack of colour, scratching blackens.

 

Shed tears of anger, and of hate,

brought on by an act of check and then mate.

A mess of words confused with meaning,

a legacy left behind full of seething.

 

Dried up wrists lay loose upon a stained bed,

a gleaming white carpet now soaked blood-red.

Lifeless eyes stare into a separate realm,

a locked grin frozen; the point of overwhelm.

 

Deep down, they now know he is free,

his release unlocked by the suicide key.

Despite the sorrow he leaves behind,

this was his act to himself of kind.

 

Its been a while...

...so lets get to some samples of writing I am currently working on.

First a sample from my new book: 'This Hell, its heat is closing in on me'

This heat; its hell closing in on me.  The sweat rolling down my arms sting the open wounds and scars, both fresh and new.  My mouth is completely dry, my lips cracked and sore and my eyes wide with sadness and a lost realisation.

                I have been beaten.  My body is battered and my mind split open in a state of utter despair.  This figure, this nemesis; this villain to my hero stands over me with a dark depth, foreboding and menacing, his body a shadow outlined with a charcoal blackness.  He moves closer and closer to the corner he has backed me into and for the first time, I begin to see details of his face.  The skin is tight and gaunt, thin enough to see the veins underneath and clear enough to see the whiteness of sharp bone.  Through the crooked smile, I see missing teeth and bleeding gums surrounded by butchered lips; blistered and weeping.  A twisted, broken nose blocked with clots of black mucus sits in the middle of slashed cheeks which open and close with every facial movement; a sight which causes me to balk heavily.  And then, my gaze finds wide staring eyes locked onto my own and I am forced to look away immediately.

                I think back to everything this figure has done to me and remember the pain and marks he has left; emotional and mental torture, bruises and black eyes and scratches and slices, and now, he stands over me with a gun pointed at my head and salivating at this inevitable outcome.  And so, as I feel the cold barrel press against my temple, my final thoughts awash over my entire body.  I have suffered and struggled against all this torture with a quiet façade and an unbreakable mask.  I have managed to hide and explain away the various markings that adorn my weakened frame and distracted attitude.  I have completely fooled those closest to me with a collection of fantastical tales and wonderful reasons.  In short, my mental and physical state has been easily clouded with an excuse of stress and insomnia; a lie that everyone around me has managed to believe.  Except for one person.  That one person who knows the truth.

                I hear the gun load the bullet with a loud click and make one last decision.  If this is to truly be the end, then I would face it head on.  I slowly return my gaze to this figure eyes and lock onto them with intent.  It is then that I notice something…something not quite right.  His eyes are wide, not with hate or pain, but with a sadness and lost realisation and before I can say anything; I hear a loud snap, see only darkness and feel hell surround me.

 

Next, a poem from another project: 'Words, Oh Sweet Words'

 

Paralyze me with your words

 

Paralyze me with your words,

make my mind go completely numb

and shock my body into a frozen state.

 

Paralyze me with your words,

hurt my feelings with past desires

and shatter me with your cold touch.

 

Paralyze me with your words,

line up verses with a haunted delusion

and twist the poisoned knife deeper in.

 

Paralyze me with your words,

burn away my tainted flesh

and embrace the screeching of my pain.

 

Paralyze me with your words,

as I weep for release from this truth

and pray for a swift death.

 

And finally, an erotic poem called : 'In The Dark'

 

In The Dark

Outside, somewhere, the deep dark thunder sways and rumbles,

it's brilliant lightning revealing a glimpse of the zeal inside,

two souls locked in heat and oblivious to mother natures passion

both a soundtrack and a voyeur to our lovers own erotic steam.

Wet bodies glisten and peel in the black; awash with sex,

she - always the one to control, guides him backwards,

swallows his manhood, consumes his beating heart...in time,

in time to the pounding rain, in time to the storm corrosion.

With the hint of shadows flashing and gorging; merging shapes,

roles are reversed and it is he who now spreads her open,

with real meaning and love, he tastes her innermost purity,

a wicked wind - out, contradicting the peaceful connection - within.

Then the anger and violence beyond howls and erupts with rage,

it's voice ignored as desire surrounds and encapsulates our lovers,

trapping them in a smothering motion of deep and eternal carnal lust,

as she takes him in, completely, utterly - their sensual waver.

Bodies are explored, positions are exchanged, emotions are satisfied,

the fading grumbling clouds, now drowned out by a mutual climax,

skulk away leaving behind one last dying flash of brilliant white,

a gorgeous snapshot of pure love and pure sex - in the dark.