A mighty fine time was had...

...at last nights Fear Factory gig at The Ritz in Manchester!!! Despite having to go on my own (and sell the spare ticket I had for £2!!!), it didn't take long for me to get right at the front and mix with the crowd.

With two damn fine support acts in Dead Label and Once Human, Fear Factory celebrated the 20th anniversary of their milestone classic album Demanufacture by playing the entire album in full before belting out a couple of tracks from the Obsolete album, three new tracks from new album Genexus and an early track from their first album. And oh my holy shit, was it good?!?!?!?! Most of Demanufacture has never really been played live so to hear the entire album was truly something special with it sounding pitch perfect and having this very tangible air of importance and uniqueness. The two tracks from Obsolete, Shock and Edgecrusher, are instant live classics and the three new tracks sounded amazing. Finishing with Martyr from their first album, and also a celebration of 25 years of the band, meant the night ended perfectly. Energy, power, love and respect was shared between band and audience and despite this being the seventh time I have seen them live, they still managed to blow me away and had me bouncing with the crowd like a mad man...although, my ears and body are suffering for it today!!

Not only that but I managed to pick up an official t-shirt with a 20 years of Demanufacture print on for £20 (believe me, that's a good price) and I managed to grab a guitar pick thrown into the crowd by guitarist Dino!! A special mention must go to support act Once Human who sound like a cross between Cradle Of Filth and Arch Enemy and have one crazy hot vocalist in Lauren Hart who can belt out a tune with her powerful vocals - both growly and clean style...will defo be getting their debut album very soon!!

I will be hopefully be writing a full review for Roobla very soon as well so please watch out for that!!

So, today is being spent listening to a lot of Fear Factory, sorting out all the connections to our new Fibre Broadband installation and writing. No work, no gym, nothing too energetic!! I am plodding on with my current writing book project but do have a few ideas about future projects and will be sorting out a plan for next year going forward so I make the most of time and effort. I have been volunteering for Martin Mere doing every other Sunday with three Sundays already under my belt. Its hard work (physical) compared to my full time job and I am completely knackered on the Monday after...but it is completely worth it and rewarding. Christmas is a matter of weeks away now so this will probably be my last blog post of the year but expect a new 2016 post not long after the New Year!!!

Something old, something new...

...for this months new blog post. No filler, no personal stuff (well the writing is very personal I suppose), just pure poetry. First up, a new naughty poem - a bit arty farty perhaps but still I like it:

The Binding Of Us

All the earth spins around our silence,

the strains of its rustic ways go on

as we take in our naked fragile souls,

a distance apart with a desire to be one,

our need to engage and lock together

in more than just sex and heat.

Our shape and contours glide through heavy air

striking a couple of shadows already lost in passion,

their giggles like sweet nothings in another time

waiting for our own connection to begin…

…and I step forward

and she follows,

and I raise my palms

and she follows,

and I interlock my fingers

and she follows,

and she closes her hands over mine

and I follow.

The flame now trapped in between our palms

raised high above our heads to look upon us,

witness our bodies touch with slight destruction,

see our lips brush with dangerous softness,

hear our hearts implode with infinite excitement,

this wondrous moment a rapture of pure love…and unity.

And then we erupt

breathing each other in,

swimming with senses,

tingling with emotions,

freeing the fire

and caging our spark…

…her nipples sting my chest and pierce my ribs,

I feel the gorgeous wetness as I enter her desire

and drift underneath her control and wanton pleasure.

Pinning me down she takes me in,

lost in her own body she sways

as I watch in awe this beauty sing,

her sonnet purrs deep and low,

our duet locked and conducted

as instinct burns hard and fast…

…and I raise up,

hold her in my arms

and weep with lust.

(and then)

Spreading herself before me,

she beckons me over her,

our eyes merging into glass

and we see ourselves for the very first time,

we beings now just being

as I thrust and disappear and feel…everything.

We are no longer here,

we are away with each other’s joy,

exploring, twisting, switching,

tasting, gorging, eating,

sensations beyond time and starlight,

we shine forever on as our patterns call out

and from within ourselves we join,

our pure peace flowing from one another,

this “us” finally understands,

this “us” finally gets it,

this “us” finally binds,

this “us” finally lives.  

Secondly, an old poem from my part way finished project about words:

 

Paralyze me with your words

Paralyze me with your words,

make my mind go completely numb

and shock my body into a frozen state.

Paralyze me with your words,

hurt my feelings with past desires

and shatter me with your cold touch.

Paralyze me with your words,

line up verses with a haunted delusion

and twist the poisoned knife deeper in.

Paralyze me with your words,

burn away my tainted flesh

and embrace the screeching of my pain.

Paralyze me with your words,

as I weep for release from this truth

and pray for a swift death.

And unto Silence we came...

...is the title of the chapter of my latest book I have just completed.

Yes, my new actual novel is coming along nicely, slowly, but nicely. My characters are developing and taking on lives of their own branching out into something I never intended at the start. For example, my Detective has a guilt which manifests itself into a presence that he communicates with as if talking to another human being.  My "hero" is also developing into someone who uses technology (it is set around the year 2030) to escape the horrors and revenge he is inflicting. I based his escape world on the farmlands and surroundings of where we now live...good excuse to write outside and use what I see as words on the laptop screen. I am only on Chapter five but I am getting there. I am still writing reviews for Roobla - latest one was the new Iron Maiden album 'The Book Of Souls' which is an epic slab of music from the heavy metal legends. Currently in the process of writing some new naughty erotica as well so lots on the go.

I have also managed to reach my weight goal of the last few months of 13.7 stone after lots of hard work at the gym and watching what I eat. Believe it or not, I started this year at 16.7 stone so losing 3 stone in 10 months is a hell of an achievement and I do feel (and look) better for it. It does get harder and harder though and my actual ultimate goal of around 12 stone will be tough. The Walking Dead restarted last week and continues to be the absolute best thing on television although 4 episodes into the new season of Doctor Who has seen it grow in confidence and quality. An already brilliant year for music with top releases from Faith No More, Fear Factory, Cradle Of Filth and Muse has been made better by the new double album epicness that is the new Iron Maiden album...up the irons indeed!! Start Wars and indeed Christmas loom ever closer...exciting times.

Work is work...I go in, do what I have to do and then come home. I have no passion or commitment outside of the hours I am contracted to do. But, it pays the bills and I have to feel lucky that nearly 16 years of service means I know what I am doing and am left to do it. Tomorrow, I do have an interview at Martin Mere for some volunteer work so lets hope that goes well. Looking forward to a night of horror films on Halloween and having the neighbour and her kids round on Bonfire night and then it will be some serious Christmas shopping. Anyway, that's that for this month...I will leave you with some snippets from the new novel though...enjoy:

And unto silence we came…

The birds are singing, the sky is clear blue and the grass is deep green.  A gentle, almost shy breeze wisps through the air bending the tall sunflowers with a slight push; their bright yellow faces sway from side to side as if dancing in the night.  Insects dart about avoiding the spider’s webs that span in between the haggled and rotten fence posts, their buzzing adding chorus to the surroundings. The sun casts shadows across the freshly cut lawn highlighting the various dips and colours, so alive yet so dead.  A lone football sits in the garden.  White with black hexagon shapes dotted about its face, it demands to be kicked, wants to be saved, and craves to be played with.  But no one is there.  No one is anywhere.

                This garden and its converted barn house are away; away from other houses, away from other gardens and away from other people. In the distance there is nothing but trees and fields.  Potatoes grow to the right and carrots grow to the left, the leaves rising from the ground signify their readiness for picking, cooking and eating; if only this could be done?  If only that ball could be kicked?  If only that sunflower could be smelt?  If only that grass could be felt?  Silence sits perfectly still observing these surroundings, his eyes straining through tears and pain.  This perfect world he has created is the only thing that keeps him sane, the only thing that keeps him going.  It is his distraction from the real world, the one which demands so much of him, the one which eats away at his soul and burns his mind; destructive yet necessary. 

                Other people create families and friends.  Mainly building on those they have lost or those they remember before the change.  Some will re-create their old house and try and live out their old life.  Some have even been known to draw from their childhood memories and have mummy and daddy pamper them again.  Not Silence.  His childhood memories are full of shit and abuse.  Mummy was ill and Daddy was alcoholic for most of his childhood.  The rest were just a bunch of horrible lies and deceptions; something which came to the fore after Daddy ran off with another woman.  Silence did once re-create this life, even managing to have the glazed eyes of his Father glare at him.  The detail was incredible, right down to the hole in the door punched in an alcoholic rage by good old Daddy.  Silence then destroyed it.  With all his might, pain and anger, he completely raged through the programme and broke down the code with terror, fear and blind loss.  It didn’t help of course, he couldn’t actually feel his destruction or taste his victory; it was basically hitting the backspace or delete on a keyboard.  In fact, if anything it made him worse so he decided on creating his perfect place.

               

Exciting times...

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