Indeed...

...it has been a while again.  Concentrating on my current writing project, holding down a full time job and getting through the everyday trials of life has meant I have neglected my blog unfortunately. 


As my current project /two zero one four' is now coming to an end, I thought I would reflect on it.  I began it as a way of pushing myself to have to write every day...the nature of the project was basically a diary but in poetry form.  With this respects, it has succeeded and I believe I have written some of my best work and have improved my writing and really thought about what I am attempting to get across with my words.  But...I have found that I repeat myself a fair bit.  I think the reason for this is just the mundane nature of life sometimes...get up, go to work, come home, have tea, go to bed and then do it all again.


I am still very proud of what I have done so far and with a matter of weeks till it is complete, look forward to reading it as a whole.


It is what comes next that is really getting my excitement boiling though!!!  My first proper novel!!!  A project I began last year as a rough outline and a project which is not only the sequel to my self published book 'Love Or Suicide and the Life In between' but also an honest and open outpouring of the darkest period of my life so far.


Anyway, a few treats below from 'two zero one four' - see you soon!!

31^st October

all you need is six lines

part 31

so did I emphasise the detail?

did I bring all the sins of emotion?

do you need more than six lines

to dig through the piss and shit,

six lines bleeding with hurt and pain,

six lines breathing with life and death…did I?

1^st November

Questions

Don’t dare question what you are not willing to change,

your thin honour wants to be part of this world

but it isn’t willing to help it; a stab in the back.

 

Ignoring the suffering,

complaining about the lack of luxury

in your world of comfort,

not even realising the strings…

 

…black, infinite, unbreakable.

 

The endless cycle of hushed tones,

guessing this and that,

putting too much faith in stories,

putting too much faith in words,

putting too much faith in men.

 

And so you end up running away from you

instead of facing the piss and shit.

You end up accepting the strings dangling

with swaying menace and control.

Watching innocence pay the price,

listening to the wrong answers

and mourning the wrong people…

…universal hope is never too far away.

 

Can you set yourself free?

Can you cut the strings?

Can you?

Been a while...

...since my last post and for very good reason - THE MOVE!!!


Yes, we finally completed the move and it took a good 5 months.  Since then we have been making sure the house is fully furnished and finished to the standard we feel comfortable with and yesterday the final piece of the puzzle was complete...the dining table.  We now have everything we wanted and are only left with a few cosmetic improvements.


Am I happy?  Yes!  Although it has taken me a while to fully adjust, I reckon I am about 90% there.  It was, and still is, sad to have moved out of the house I have lived my entire life (37 years as of now) but it was the perfect time to do it.


So, my writing...how has that been going I here you ask.  Well, pretty damn good.  This year was to be the year I wrote every day and to create a project of poetry, similar to a diary, of each day, what happened, how I felt etc.  And apart from a handful of days, I have so far managed to stick to this and it is turning out to be a very interesting piece of work with some of my best (and worst) work.  I am determined to continue this till the end of 2014 and then look at publishing in some form or another.


Below, there is some morsels for you to digest...enjoy:

9^th June

Hollow

Swallowing darkness choking on swine,

this hollow dream a startling reality,

stumbling with each step forward,

falling backwards to that final cut,

no one to catch me, no one but

the shadow with the knife in his back,

a reflection of future mistakes,

a sorry lost mind - his only crime.

 Suffocating on this vast landscape,

this hollow isolation burns with paranoia,

whispering words of fear and hate,

turning warm brown eyes cold and distant,

connection gone, final communication sent,

tear stained ticket tape of blood,

lights on, nobody home,

a true victim of self-inflicted rape.

 Slipping down ropes and noose,

this hollow victory laced with razors,

perfect sense with deserved judgement,

in this end there remains a nothingness,

memory of me is gone, a coward no less,

as time wipes the slate clean and they forget,

don’t look so surprised, it’s only business,

just another numbered statistic let loose.

 

2^nd April

Surgeons words

Crackling heartbeats pulsate in my ear,

the beep beep of monitors reducing

time we patients have in this life,

a resolve of harmony and destiny

twisting language with forked tongues,

let’s clap along and dance about,

let’s ride this wave of thunderous chops,

the bells calling, the last gasp fading,

specimens battle worn and trapped

beckoning and scraping your teeth,

burrowing into every nerve, naïve

a very nasty bedside manner

demanding the space you occupy as their own,

burning dying senses with prism voices,

a marker in black lowering a fant o mas

and a ping tells us we are done,

echoing with an eternal surgical sound,

no more screams, no more shouts, no more nothing,

reduced to ticks of a clock and tocks of a memory,

murmurings of wobbly sci-fi eeriness

on an ocean explosion of denial and loss,

the white noise of death taking us in,

up above or down below we swirl,

our surgeons words punctuated with a whistle

and a museum of discarded rubber gloves.

 

18^th March

Noise

Barbaric screeching pulses,

a hypnotic beat leads the way,

half words prey out and about,

strings scratch and stutter

and an angel serenades.

 Garbage collides with fire,

breezeblock of flutter screams,

distant cries feed fear,

echoes of torture resonate

and a wall implodes.

 Eerie waves vibrate inside,

clown music tinkers on,

playful ghouls dance,

layered voices pile in

and form disembodied growls.

Safety dribbles all over me,

the floating keys bobbing along,

hints of the industrial age swell,

whooshing from ear to ear

and opening a vortex of sound.

 Bring on the jazz vibe,

the lonely guitar sings,

pinging electronica pings,

madness and beauty swim

and create a dev lab.

 

 

 

 

 

How am I getting on...

...with my poem a day project?  Well, very well actually!  I have pretty much kept up with it and am producing some interesting pieces based on pure raw emotion, what has happened during said day and the influences around me when I sit down and write.  It is also meant that I am writing virtually every day and making a very conscious effort to be original and not repeat what I have already written in both style and substance.


Below are some pieces written over the course of this year...enjoy!

4^th January

Escape

I close my eyes and imagine a freedom,

an escape from the grime and shit,

a release from all the trappings,

an end to smothered normality.

 

This asylum of ignorance and swine,

inmates shuffling along, this walking dead,

with heads down and shoulders slumped,

no respect for each other’s pathetic existence.

 

They rip and shred their fellow kin,

beat and burn any wayward glance,

pillage the very land they live on

and waste away the precious time given.

 

To hell with thy neighbour,

let’s snarl at the homeless man,

why don’t we poison our bodies?

And corrupt our brains.

 

Our maker must truly despair in silence,

sob and wonder where it all went so wrong,

pray for someone to answer their prayers,

get to the punch line of this sick joke.

 

I open my eyes and see a prison,

a planet full of grime and shit,

no release from all the trappings,

no end to this smothered normality.

 

(well - there is one release)

7^th February

Old friends

Old friends, forgotten memories,

a carefree youth of excess and fun,

a life free of restraint and boundaries,

together as all, together as one.

25^th February

In my eyes I’ve always fallen

Struggling, limbs of stone,

a paranoia of sheep,

those who follow and beg,

content with normality,

a screeching echo, distant

yet urgent, waves of sound

fluttering over smog and dust,

everyone has a dark side,

we all wish you were here

fighting like animals,

bound by forgotten blood,

urged on by chains and spit,

dragged down by the man,

oink oink we pigs,

swine wallowing in our own shit,

our reflection pitiful and sad,

and for being part of this charade,

in my eyes I’ve always fallen.

Happy New Year...

...to all my followers and fellow bloggers!!!

So, I ended 2013 on a massive high with a very nice phone call from Chapter One Promotions telling me that my book 'Love Or Suicide and the Life Inbetween' came 3rd in their annual self publishing competition.  After a tough 2013, that phone call and that news was needed and welcomed with a beaming smile and a huge confidence boost.  Maybe it really does prove that if you put your mind to something, you truly can do it and be successful!

Anyway, my big project for 2014 is called 'Year'.  A poem a day with its subject matter a representation of that specific day; hence a load of unpredictability and uncertainty.  This project has been in the back of my mind for a while so to finally start it is exciting.  So, for your reading pleasure, I have included the second poem of my project 'Year' for you to gorge on.

1^st January

Success

 

In the last hours of 2013,

came a phone call number unknown,

and after a voicemail left,

came a very welcome success.

 

Third in a self-publishing comp,

bringing a genuine smile to my face,

something actually went my way,

signalling a fresh start this very day.

 

It is possible to do anything,

as long as you believe,

it is possible to live your dreams,

a worthwhile life it seems.

 

So here I am finally ready,

to take on the world and win,

bring light into my every present darkness,

no longer wandering in blind aimlessness.